Starfox: The Pacifier Parody
by winkywoo2008
Summary: Fox and Krystal are bodyguards to a political candidates family! Parody of The Pacifier and X-over between Lilo & Stitch! Rating will change over time!
1. Chapter 1 Briefing

Starfox: The Pacifier Parody

Chapter One: Briefing

January 22nd, 2008 (Human calendar)

1:32 PM

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Fox McCloud was walking down the corridor. He arrived at the bridge. When he sat down General Peppy Hare came on screen. "Fox" he said. "Hey Peppy, long time no see" Fox replied. "Fox I have exciting news, we have discovered a new race!" he said calmly.

"Seriously!?" Slippy cried. "Yes, they are called Humans" he said. He then showed Starfox a picture of the race. "Wow, nice" Fox said. "Apparently they are civilized and have developed nations but aren't a unified planet yet" he began.

"Here are the borders of their nations" he said. Then a topographic view of a planet came. Along with that, dark, bold lines told us of the nations borders.

"There are decently small nations at that area" Krystal said as she pointed to a landmass connected to a bigger one. "Yes and here are the governments they have created that group them" Peppy said. "There are the United Nations and the European Union" he said. "That landmass you pointed to Krystal is the province called Europe" he said. "And that's where the European Union is formed and operating". "The United Nations groups other nations even if they aren't on the same province".

"There's a nation that's worth visiting due to their reputation" Peppy said. "And that is?" Falco asked. "The United States of America, regarded as the world's sole superpower" he said. "Wow, they must be powerful" Fox said.

"Yes, they gained that title after the fall of the Soviet Union in, human's calendar, 1991" he said. "When do we meet them?" Slippy asked.

"We have decided to visit the US since they are the only nation welcoming us" he said. "How come they're the only one?" Krystal asked. "We don't know yet, but the other nations are suspicious of us for some reason" Peppy said. "Aww, that's mean" Falco said sarcastically. "Anyway, the US is having a political campaign to see who will become their new leader, which they call, president" he said.

"Hmm, how does it work?" Fox asked. "It is very complicated, but two people of opposing parties are elected by voting them into office" Peppy explained. "The parties are Democrats and Republicans" he continued, "Right now the two people are John Anderson of the Democrats and Alex Peterson of the Republicans" he finished.

"However, Alex is a little scared of us since we have superior technology but John told us that if he wins we can come and visit them" he said. "I already like John" Fox said. "Yes, but Alex has heard that and people are starting rumors that he will stop him through unlawful ways" Peppy warned. "Like what?" Krystal wondered with concern.

"Assassination of his family" he said. "What!?" Slippy and Falco cried out at the same time. "That's horrible" Krystal said. "Yes, he knows that John relies on his family for motivation and support, and he will drop out of the race and Alex will win by default" he said. "That's why the UN is asking you to guard his family after the race is over and he wins" Peppy said. "Shouldn't be too difficult" Fox said.

"His family lives in one of the US's states, California" he said. Then a map came and zoomed in to a area off the coast. "They live in a house in a place called, Los Angeles" he said. "Alright we got the location and summary, we are ready to go" Fox said. "Excellent, a man named Cobra Bubbles will assist you" Peppy said. "Wait I'm no ones bodyguard" Falco said. "Yeah and I need to keep the ship in orbit until clearance" Slippy said. "Guess it's just you and me Fox" Krystal said.

Fox blushed. He knew Krystal was embarrassing him for fun. "Alright, the locals are waiting to see you so get ready to be mobbed by excited people" Peppy said. "Guess we aren't the only ones who are excited" Fox said.

Fox and Krystal boarded their Arwings and setoff to Kokoua Town.

Author: This story will make my avatar a human and I can't figure out a good name.


	2. Chapter 2 Enter USA

Author: Sorry, I got a little busy. Jessica: Liar! You were being lazy!

Author: Daughters, you can't live without em.

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Starfox: The Pacifier Parody

Chapter Two: Enter USA

He mele no Lilo plays

Andrew was swimming in his pool. It's about (not very good at measurements) 8m in diameter in a rectangular shape. He decided to take a break when his lungs were screaming for oxygen.

"Andrew!" someone called. He looked over to the sound. His hair, which is usually greasy, was now shining bright under the sun. His hair was about short-medium length, brown and kind of a mop style. His brown eyes shows energy and joy most of the time.

He mele no Lilo ends

Leroy, a twin of Stitch, except has red fur but lighter around his torso and torn ears, was running to Andrew. "Yeah?" Andrew asked. "It's your dad, he's afraid Alex may do something to sabotage him, so he sent us bodyguards" he said.

Andrew shot a surprised look. "Well, that's, uhhh, good?" he said. Leroy started to pout a bit. "That's no fair, I can be a good bodyguard" he said. Andrew chuckled and said "Well he still doesn't trust you after that incident last week". "Which is?" Leroy asked.

FLASHBACK

The party was energetic and, well, awesome. Andrew was strolling around the party to make sure everything was good. A lot of people complimented how great the party was.

Then suddenly, a loud yodeling was heard. The party stopped and looked. Leroy was on the tree, punch bowl on his head, and holding a, BRA? "Look what I found!" he yelled. They all looked and found a girl hugging herself, screaming at Leroy, demanding them back. "No way sugar" he replied. _Oh god, why now? _Andrew thought.

Everybody caused a laughing uproar. Andrew is steamed. He marched to Leroy, who was hanging on the diving board, and picked him up, by the scruff on the back of his neck. "Give them back, now" he said firmly. "Naga" Leroy replied, and licked Andrew's face. Everybody "Ewwww"ed in response.

He shouldn't have done that. Andrew growled. Leroy must have realized what he did, because his face started to show some fear. With a move so fast nobody's eye can see, he grabbed the, you know what and tossed them to the girl who was begging for them.

"Time for a chat" Andrew said. _Oh god please don't scream _Leroy prayed. Andrew, holding Leroy, marched in the house. After that, well, let's just say it's not pretty.

END FLASHBACK

"Alright, so I got a little sugar crazy, so what?" Leroy shrugged. Andrew sighed. "Let's just get inside, I'm dripping wet" he said.

They both walked in. While Andrew was looking for a towel, Leroy turned on the TV and switched it to Cartoon Network. Angel came in with a yawn.

Leroy knew that if she does that, she just woke up, and she is easy to snap in rage. So he just continued to watch TV.

Andrew came out of the bathroom, hair damp, but himself squeaky clean. He wore his usual clothes: black Abercrombie and Fitch jacket, white football t-shirt with a bold 20 on the front, navy blue cargo pants and black and white Vans sneakers.

Andrew's Caucasian skin seems to glow after that dip in the pool. "Hey Angel, how was your sleep?" he asked. She just grumbled in response while getting breakfast. Andrew was around 6"1, while Leroy was about 5"11 and Angel was 6"0. Yeah, Leroy is a little embarrassed he's shorter then Angel.

Before Andrew could say anything else, a knock came. "Hold on" Andrew said.

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Fox and Krystal waited at the door. "Do we have the right address?" Krystal asked. Fox took out a piece of paper and read it. "Yeah this it" he said after a few comparisons.

Then the door opened. A tall human stepped out. "Hey" he said. "Hi, I'm Fox McCloud and this is Krystal" Fox introduced. "I'm Andrew" the human replied. "How can I help you?" he asked. "Were the bodyguards your father sent" Fox replied. "Alright, well come on in" Andrew said.

They followed Andrew inside. Fox could tell he's young, probably in his early teens. _Young but tall, pretty impressive _Fox thought. They entered the living room which was chock full of expensive stuff. "Guys, this is Leroy and Angel" he said, pointing to a red creature, then a pink one. They both looked the same, but the pink one has some kind of arm like limb sprouting from her head.

"Hey" Leroy said. "Hi" Angel followed. "Hey" Fox replied. "Hello" Krystal said. Leroy was watching some animated show while Angel was getting some cereal. "You can check out the place if you want" Andrew offered. "No thanks, we should see where are rooms are" Fox said. "Upstairs, down the hall, there should be five rooms available, you can pick whichever you want" Andrew directed. "Thank you" Krystal said. "Yeah thanks" Fox said.

They both went upstairs to the directions. _Jeez this place is huge _Fox thought. Fox took the time during their time en route to Earth to study human's culture and architecture.

By the looks of it, this place seems to be built off of Spain's customs. The rooms were orange and the floors are built with sunset linoleum. Fox also noticed a TV built into a wall, in front of a light brown couch.

They entered the rooms they wanted and are in awe. Their windows offered a spectacular view of Los Angeles, if he had it correct. He could see the endless buildings they called skyscrapers from afar. The room was pretty Spanish like. He also noticed palm trees lining up a street from the house, acting like some sort of natural wall. The air was tropical hot and a little humid.

Fox lay down on the bed. It was the softest thing he has ever been on. If he hadn't realized he was falling asleep and opened his eyes like bullets, he would have dozed off. He walked over to Krystal's room. It was pretty much the same. But the window showed the view of the highway that led to the city. "Enjoying this place?" a voice asked. They both turned and found Andrew at the doorway.

"Yeah, we love it" Fox said. Andrew smiled. "Yeah it is pretty beautiful, wait till you see Hawaii, may not be big, but it's paradise" he said. "You've been there?" Krystal asked. "Yeah, climates bit the same as here, but more lush in shrubs and forests" he replied. "I noticed this is a little bit off of Spain's culture" Fox said.

"Yeah, when America was discovered, this part, along with a little more to the east, was part of Spain's territory during the frontier" he explained. "Talked with my dad over the expectations?" he asked. "Wait, what?" Fox asked. "I thought my dad talked it over with you guys". "Oh we know what to do" Krystal said. Andrew looked suspicious. "I'm not sure, but I'll let it go" he said. He walked down the hall.

Fox and Krystal walked downstairs to find Andrew and Leroy at the couch playing Guitar Hero III while they heard splashing. "You guys have a pool?" Fox asked. "Yep, got it when we moved here" Andrew replied. Fox looked outside. There was a _huge _pool surrounded by white stones. He noticed a little to the right was a barbecue and a table seated for six. Fox counted.

"Do you have siblings?" Fox asked when he walked back in. "Yep, brother and sister, but I like it when Leroy and Angel are counted as siblings" Andrew replied warmly. "Where are they?" Krystal asked from the kitchen. "School" Leroy said. Andrew shot up with a cheer. Leroy roared. Looks like Andrew won a match. "You bitch!" Leroy yelled. Andrew only laughed.

Leroy pounced on Andrew. "Ok you two stop that!" Krystal said. Then a loud banging came from the door.


	3. Chapter 3 Getting Accustomed

winkywoo2008: Ugh, I hate it when I forget to do this, ah well, I got a 3 day weekend from school, and hopefully that's enough…

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Starfox: The Pacifier Parody

Chapter Three: Getting Accustomed

"I'll get it" Andrew said. He walked down the long hallway and opened the door.

"Ah hello there master Andrew" a person said. "Hello Carlos" Andrew replied. Then a girl, up to Andrew's knees, came in and started bouncing off of everywhere.

"My, Miss Alex is so energetic huh?" Carlos said. "Yeah, wonder if she got it from grandma" Andrew chuckled. "Fox, Krystal this is Carlos, our butler and my sister Alex" Andrew introduced.

"Hello" Krystal said. "Hey" Fox said. Alex giggled. "You're cute" she said.

Fox blushed. Krystal struggled to hold in her laughter. Andrew snickered while Carlos chuckled. Carlos was a little shorter then Leroy, Hispanic and a little muscular. Alex has wavy blonde hair tied in a ponytail.

"Carlos, where's Jeff?" Andrew asked. "He said he will be taking his car for today" he replied. Andrew sighed. Then they heard a car come to a stop. A few minutes after that, a burly teenager walked in, possibly in his late teens.

"Guys, this is Jeff" Andrew said. "What's up" Jeff said. He was taller then Andrew, by a few inches, and was wearing a Slayer t-shirt, black jeans with a chain and black sneakers.

Before Fox and Krystal can say anything, Jeff walked upstairs. "Don't worry, he's alright, always like this" Andrew assured. "Yes and Mr. Anderson is worried about that, thinking he's troubled" Carlos said with concern.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"No, no!" Alex shouted. It was 7:30 PM and it was time for Alex's bedtime. Fox was having trouble getting her to sleep. "Come on, give me a break" Fox moaned.

He heard snickering out the door. He turned and saw Angel. "She won't go to sleep unless _I _tell a story for her" she said. "Alright, do it" Fox said. He took a step back when Angel started walking. Then she started.

"Once upon a time, a big knight in black armor was the greatest knight of all, so when he heard a princess was locked away, he got his noble steed and raced toward the castle where she was imprisoned" Angel began.

"But he faced a giant, mean dragon who breathed fire, but his shield managed to protect him from the fire and he beat the dragon and then he rescued the princess and they lived in a happy family" Angel finished.

"Who were they?" Alex asked. "The princess…was me and the knight…Leroy" Angel said. "Wow!" Alex exclaimed. Angel chuckled. "Ok time for nappy-poo" Angel cooed. She kissed her on the forehead and tucked her in and stepped out the door.

"Wow, impressive" Fox said. Angel smiled. "I know, and you can't take that from me" she teased. Fox chuckled. "We'll see" he said. Angel walked downstairs while Fox relaxed in his room.

Then he dozed off…

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_BOOM! BANG! SCREAM_

winkywoo2008: What is happening? Find out in the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4 Meetin' the School Principle

Starfox: The Pacifier Parody

Chapter Four: Meetin' the School Principle

"What the!?" Fox cried. He ran downstairs, ready for the fight. He came down only to find out the source was from the TV, a game.

Fox let out a deep breath of relief. "Can you turn that down? That frightened me" he said.

"Oh, whoops, sorry" Leroy said. He picked up the remote and turned the volume down. "What are ya playing?" Fox asked. "Red Steel" Andrew said.

He has a slim, rectangular remote shaped object in his hand and another, only crafted for a one in the other, plugged into the other one. Leroy was holding the same objects.

"What are those?" Fox asked again. "The wiimote and nunchuck" Andrew said. He was making slashing motions and the virtual character was following the movements, with a long blade.

Fox decided to try it out later and went to get breakfast. Angel came down with a yawn. "Hey Angel" Fox said. She grumbled in response.

"Word of warning, don't bother her if she just woke up, she gets really cranky" Andrew warned. "Why?" Fox asked. Andrew just shrugged.

Krystal came down. "Wow, I can't believe I fell asleep that fast" she said. Andrew chuckled. "Yeah, the beds will do that" he said.

Then Carlos came in. "Master Andrew, do you require anything from me for today?" he asked. "No thanks" Andrew said. "Then I shall retire to my room, watching That 70's Show" Carlos said, then he walked upstairs.

"What's the show name?" Fox asked. "That _is _the name, That 70's Show" Andrew said. Fox got confused.

Andrew laughed. Then a death cry from the TV was heard. "Damnit!" Andrew cursed. Leroy laughed. "That was for yesterday!" he said. Andrew glared at him.

Then the phone rang. "I'll get it" Krystal said. She walked over and answered the phone. "Hello?" she said. "Hello, this is the Vice Principle, Mr. Wong, is Andrew, Leroy and Angel sick?" the caller asked.

"Uh, no, they aren't" Krystal said. "Oh, uh, who is this?" he said. "This is Krystal" she said. "Is uh Mr. Anderson there?". "No he's away right now, how can I help you?" she informed. "Oh, Andrew, Leroy and Angel are supposed to be at school today, didn't they tell you?" he asked.

"No they didn't" she said. "Oh, well uh, bring to them school within the next twenty minutes and they won't get a detention for tardy" he said. "Yes Mr. Wong" she said.

Andrew, Leroy and Angel got nervous when they heard the name. "Well?" Fox asked. "It was their Vice Principle, Mr. Wong, they were supposed to be at school today" she said when she hung up. Andrew and Leroy gulped. Angel bit her lip.

"Well I can take them, Cobra gave me the address" Fox said.

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"WHOA! CAREFUL!" Andrew screamed. Fox wasn't used to driving Earth vehicles, but he learned. Fox did a spin-park right at the curb in front of the school. Angel scrambled out of the car and started kissing the ground.

"Sweet land!" she shouted. "Oh come on, I wasn't that bad" Fox said. "Uh, yeah you were" Leroy said. Fox glared at him. The school bell rung and the students started pouring in the building. "Well, see ya later" Andrew said.

Fox decided to stick around, not taking any chances. He stumbled upon the principles office and decided to talk with the principle.

"Ah hello" he said. He was tall, African-American and had short, black hair with a little mustache. "Hi, I'm Fox, Andrew, Leroy and Angel's bodyguard" Fox introduced.

"Oh so you're the famous Fox I started hearing about" the principle said. "My name is Mr. Johnson". They shook hands. "Glad to meet you, I was wondering if I can stick around and keep an eye on the kids?" Fox asked.

"Yes you can, and before you go, I was in the US Marine Corps, Chief Petty Officer" he said. "Oh, glad to know that, thank you" Fox said.

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Fox sat on the bench, watching the kids with binoculars. While doing that he searched Mr. Johnson's military record. It showed: Nine Campaign Ribbons, One Distinguished Medal and Soldier of The Year Award. His current status was Honorably Discharged. "Hmm, he checks out" Fox said to himself.

He heard cheering over at the field. He looked over and saw Angel in a cheerleading outfit with pom-poms and doing some sort of dance.

He looked at the windows and spotted Andrew, head leaning on his hand. Then his head crashed to the table, jolting back up instantly.

_I think he didn't get enough sleep last night _Fox thought. Then he looked again and found Leroy in the field, playing Football. "Hey Fox" someone said. He looked and saw Mr. Johnson coming over and sat down with him.

"How's the work?" he asked. "Going good so far" Fox said. The school was about three stories high, about ten windows in each horizontal row. "If you think that's hard, try running a school full of about two hundred students" Mr. Johnson said. Fox chuckled. "Not gonna do that" he said.

"Anyway, Fox---" he was interrupted by a radio clicking. "Mr. Johnson, can you come down to the office, there are two students who need a talking to" a man radioed. "On my way" he said. "Sorry Fox gotta run" he said. Then he took off. _Wow, busy guy _Fox thought. Then did recon a bit more. The classes were excused and break started. He didn't see Andrew anywhere. _Maybe he's inside talking with some friends _he thought. Then his radio clicked. "Fox, can you come to the office?" Mr. Johnson asked.

Earlier, Fox gave the principle his radio frequency if there's trouble. "Sure, on my way" he said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fox stepped inside. "Yes, Mr. Johnson?" he asked. "Take a seat please" he said. His expression was deep in concern. "What is it?" Fox asked. He pointed to the side of the room.

Fox looked and his eyes shot open. Andrew was seated in a chair, jacket and shirt off. Another student, female, possibly an experiment, was also seated.

"What's going on here?" Fox asked. "Apparently the janitor caught these two about to have sex" he said. Andrew hung his head and the girl covered her eyes in embarrassment.

Fox sighed. "Look I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have dragged Shush into this, it's my fault, don't punish her, please" Andrew pleaded. Mr. Johnson sighed. Then the door opened. Leroy and an aqua-blue colored experiment came in.

"They were about do it too" the man said. Mr. Johnson groaned and leaned his head on his hand. Leroy crossed his arms, the blue experiment turned away in embarrassment. Then another man came.

"These two were displaying public signs of affection by pecking" the other man said. These were two experiments. Both of them were koala looking, while one has midnight black skin, dark blue eyes, torn ears and a golden earring in the right ear. The other looked like Angel, only she had crimson red skin. "Oh for god's sake why are you guys doing it?" Mr. Johnson demanded. Everybody hung their head.

Fox started to feel hot with embarrassment. "Look, I'll take Andrew and Leroy home and have a talk with them" he said. "Alright, make sure they get to school on time tomorrow, seven-fifty A.M." Mr. Johnson said.

Fox thanked him and took Andrew and Leroy home for a talking to.


End file.
